Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

AUTHENTICITY

Saturday, March 17th, 2012

AUTHENTICITY

There’s a story told of a woman who pulled up to a red light behind another car. The driver of the car in front of her was talking on his cell phone, and shuffling through some papers on the seat beside him. The light turned green, but the man didn’t notice. The woman began pounding on her steering wheel, honking her horn and yelling at the man to move. The man still didn’t move. The light turned yellow. The woman blew the car’s horn repeatedly, as she yelled and screamed at the man. The man finally noticed the commotion. He looked up, saw the yellow light, and accelerated through the intersection just as the light turned red. The woman was beside herself, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection. As she was still in mid-rant she heard a tap on her window and looked into the face of a very serious looking policeman. The policeman told her to shut off her engine and step out of the car. The red-faced woman obeyed, speechless at what was happening. The policeman took the woman to the police station where she was placed in a cell, after a couple of hours of sitting in the cell, the woman was brought out to the front of the station where the original officer was waiting with her personal effects. The policeman handed her the bag containing her things, and said, “I’m really sorry for this mistake, but you see I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn and screaming and cursing. Then I noticed the Choose Life license plate holder, the Follow Me to Sunday school bumper sticker, and the chrome plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, naturally I assumed that you had stolen the car, but I was wrong!

Authenticity…Refers to the truthfulness of origins, attributions, commitments, sincerity, devotion, and intentions.

Philip Yancey wrote: “Grace comes free of charge to people who do not deserve it and I am one of those people. I think back to whom I was — resentful, wound tight with anger, a single hardened link in a long chain of “un-grace” learned from family and church. Now, I am trying in my own small way to pipe…the tune of grace. I do so because I know, more surely than I know anything, that any pang of healing or forgiveness, or goodness, I have ever felt comes solely from the grace of God. I yearn for the church to become a nourishing culture of that grace”.

Grace also will remind us, it’s okay to let others see how much God still needs to work in our lives. Grace and authenticity walk hand in hand.

  • Isn’t it tragic that people regularly enter churches and then leave again never finding grace?
  • It’s common to believe in God’s grace but to be ungracious. It’s also common to preach grace, but not extend it. As people, we claim grace and forgiveness for ourselves, but we often demand performance from others. We need to understand Christ’s heart for His Church.

C.S. Lewis said, “Man is incurably religious.” 

Our human pride makes us legalists by nature. We need regular, repeated doses of the Truth of grace to flush that garbage out of our thinking. We also love to give others a good impression.

  • What will characterize Christians who pursue grace-driven authenticity?

The passage below will help us discover, how to put a “face on grace“. It helps us celebrate grace — in turn to “grace” each other. This moves us down the road to being real.

Colossians 3:1-14 “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.  When Christ, who is yourlife, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.  Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived.  But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.  Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.  Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all. Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

1.  Grace (driven) people know their roots – verse 12

2.  Grace people reflect grace

Wear gentleness… This word is the same word as meekness — it‘s the opposite of rudeness and abrasiveness.

Put on Kindness…. that’s action that grows out of compassion.

Put on humility…. Humility flows out of remembering God’s grace to you. In Romans 12:3, Paul says, through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.

Put on patience… Literally, that means putting up with people’s exasperating conduct without responding in kind.

It time we find our Purpose ~

Dictionary for Purpose:  The object toward which one strives or for which something exists; an aim or a goal:

Paul Harvey – “Like what you do. If you don’t like it, do something else.”

John Ruskin – “Tell me what you like and I’ll tell you what you are.”

Kenneth Hildebrand – “Strong lives are motivated by dynamic purposes; lesser ones exist on wishes and inclinations.”

What is your purpose in life?  - The object toward which one strives or for which something exists; an aim or a goal:

  • Most times we are quick to say what is our secondary purpose, but everything in creation has a primary purpose, or a reason for existing. For anyone or anything to be successful, it must fulfill that purpose.

 

  •  AUTHENTICITY = REAL
            

 

 


Ten Facts Men Should Consider About Their Wife!

Friday, March 16th, 2012

By Perry Noble, Christian Post Guest Columnist

1. Before she was your wife she was God’s daughter…and He is VERY concerned about how someone treats His girl!
2. Women are responders, so if there is friction/conflict in the relationship she is most likely responding to something that is off center…and it is going to take an actual conversation where you use words to figure out what it is.
3. If a man will not lead his family then Satan will! (See Genesis 3)
4. One of the biggest questions that a woman is always asking of her husband is, “can I trust you with my heart?” And the answer to this question is not simply declared but rather demonstrated over time.
5. Every word you speak has meaning to your wife…and HOW you say those words carry even more meaning.
6. No woman responds well to condemnation…and if we are supposed to love our wives like Christ loves the church, and there is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ (Romans 8:1) then we MUST watch our words carefully.
7. It is a spiritual impossibility for an angry husband to love his wife like Jesus loves the church.
8. Your wife LOVES to know you are thinking about her during the day.
9. Surfing the Internet or playing games on your smart phone while she is sitting next to you on the couch is NOT romantic.
10. Pursuit must be intentional! You did not accidentally fall in love…and you will not accidently stay in love!

A Successful Marriage

Thursday, March 15th, 2012

Lena and I have been married for 28 years. The time has flown by and the main reason for that is because I married my best friend we have continued to develop this friendship year after year. 
In our home, birthdays are a very big tradition (Swedish) and we love to celebrate them with special emphasis each year. When we’re back in Sweden, I like to tease my relatives (with sincerity) about how I place greater value on wedding anniversaries over birthdays. My rationale is that as long as you’re breathing, birthdays will happen, not the same for wedding anniversaries. They require special care and attention and each year that passes is an indicator that a husband and wife have hopefully worked very hard to make what was good, great! I am committed to the words I spoke to Lena, ‘Til death do us part’, I am not interested in seeing the most precious human relationship fall apart because of my own selfishness and or lack of self control. It’s time for men to be men and quite acting and living like thumb sucking, mamma’s boys. Grow up, lead and treasure the wife of your youth, it’s worth it. Here are some helpful tips you may want to consider.

1. Honesty
 – Two people who are not going to be honest with each other have planned to fail. It’s been well said, ‘we don’t plan to fail, we fail to plan’. Plan on being honest. No lying! 
Lena and I made the commitment before we got married that we would not have secrets from one another, no matter how painful. Early pain for long-term gain is the philosophy behind being a truth teller (all the time). The power of a secret is broken when the lie is exposed to the light, the fantasy and intrigue that the devil places in your thought life is now broken. 
Truth telling is especially crucial when it comes to finances. This is true right from the time you start dating til the very end. It’s not my money, it’s our money and having secrets about finances will be a relationship breaker.

2. Humility
 – is not thinking badly of yourself, it’s simply not thinking of yourself at all. If you care for the needs of others, our needs will always be taken into account. Jesus practiced humility in every possible way, right to the end when he washed the disciples feet. The resistance that he received from Peter was much like we see in today’s relationships. All one sided, Peter said, ‘you will never wash my feet’ and Jesus said if I don’t wash your feet, you won’t have fellowship with me. Humility opens up the gate to fellowship, being friends! This is not an overstated word, being a true friend should be seen in marriage as much if not more than any other place.

3. Patience
 – Because we live in a fast paced society with many built in expectations, we often take out our angry on the person closes to us. If you’re deadlines at work are not being met, who get’s it? You come home and in an atmosphere where there is and should be more acceptance, we blast away at the one we love, trying to relieve the pressures imposed upon us from other circumstances. Stop and take a breath before responding to a question from your spouse, take a walk, go on the treadmill, do something that doesn’t inflict pain on the soul of your lover.

4. Self-Awareness
 – Get to know yourself! The Bible says that you should love God with all your being and love your neighbor as yourself. Self-love is not narcissism, it is getting to know the author of love, Christ Himself, who laid down His life for us and letting Him teach us more about us. Find out through reading the word, listening to anointed, inspired and sound teaching, truths about life and love that will radiate from you to those within your love circle. While we are to love everyone, the amount of time, energy and emotional quotient that we can expend is set at the level designed by our creator. The more you spend time with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit will be evident in the direct benefits towards your best friend. Learn to discern, grow in self-awareness, go deeper within and let the Spirit search you thoroughly, allowing the real YOU to shine through!